Sales Letters

 

Fat Crusher System - Weight Loss Market

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Hyper-competitive markets are my thang. 

I just LOVE the research and creativity it takes to come up with new angles for a product such as Fat Crusher System (an infoproduct on how to melt fat like butter in the sun without going to the gym or starving yourself.) 

The secret formula:

Pain Points + Science + Emotional domino = $$$

Touching pain points is essential if you want to grab attention for more than 3 seconds.

You've got to show you know what your prospect is going through and doing so with an exciting story wins you loads of extra points (kind of like Gryffindor at the end of the year).

But if you actually want them to be interested in your solution, you've got to show them the science. Without scientific proof, you've got zero chances of making it in a hyper-competitive market like health. 

The emotional domino is carefully crafted so it gently pushes the prospect down the sales funnel until the heavenly moment when they click on "Confirm Order". And scene. 

 

Get Hard Again - Sex Life Market

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If the title made you blush, smirk or at least raise an eyebrow... let me confirm that naughty thought in your head:

YES, it's about erectile dysfunction and how to get rid of it. 

Now, is it weird that's my favorite VSL ever?

I got to use more snazzy terms for male genitalia than E.L. James. And let's not even mention the wonderful new things I got to learn while researching.

The only downside: the ads popping up on my computer screen made me avoid working in public spaces at all cost.

 

But here's what this VSL revealed about my copywriting skills:

I can write from any perspective or tone of voice, no matter how different from my own

If I can impersonate a middle-aged man with erectile dysfunction whose wife just left him... there's nothing I can't do.

I can turn even the most common event into an Agatha Christie-like mystery story

What do you do when you have write about a super-common, yet little-spoken-of problem? You grab attention attention with a jaw-dropping story.

I can write copy that actually gets read (or watched) even for highly difficult markets

Everyone deleted at least one penis enlargement email they never even opened. But that's only because I wasn't behind the copy (humblebragging 101).   

 

Hearing Loss Protocol - Health Market

 

This was THE game changer.

The $7 million VSL that saved a start-up from bankruptcy and turned into a unicorn in less than a month. 

Quick backstory:

Back when I wrote this piece, I was working with a start-up company trying to pierce the highly competitive alternative health market. They were already bleeding money and discussing whether they should turn off the lights and lock the doors or take one more risk before shutting down. 

Maybe it was the industrial amount of coffee these guys drank, but they decided to give it one more shot. All bets were placed on an infoproduct called "Hearing Loss Protocol", an ebook that helped you get better hearing. 

Since this was a nothing-more-to-lose kind of endeavor, we went full crazy with the story. 

It involved:

  • one father & one son

  • one shotgun & one puma attack

  • long-lost Amish survival medicine

  • scientific facts broken down into simple concepts

  • a heart-warming story about family love & support

Results: the company moved into a nice, spacious office 3 months after the launch and hired 15 people in less than 6 months. Good copy brings in money that brings in MORE money!

 

Patriot Stockpile - Survival Market

A main concern for survivalists & preppers is building a one-year stockpile for their family, without spending all their savings. 

So in order to save as much money as possible, they use coupons. Loads and loads of coupons.

The trouble is...

You end up wasting hours clipping hundreds of 'em and most of the times you end up getting ridiculous amounts of the same item (you try going through 24 boxes chock-full of ketchup bottles in this lifetime).

My challenge was to show people there's a better way to save money on survival items... but they'll have to PAY to get access to the instructions. 

Bit tricky, but nothing that can't be solved with pulverizing arguments, a solid product presentation, and fighting all possible objections before the first CTA. 

 

Sales Pages

 

Chronic Stress Relief - Health Market

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This hit so close to home, I could basically write from experience.

  • Pain points - check!

  • 1000,45 remedies already tried - check!

  • Side effects from debilitating pills - check!

  • NO long-lasting results - check!

Now you may think my personal experience helped a lot with this piece, but NOPE. And here's the reason why (I found it hilarious). 

Every single competitor on the market (and there were a LOT of 'em) had copywriters writing from experience.

Copywriting + Crippling stress = Marriage

So what I needed to do was to find something completely different AND compelling that would drive sales.

So, as the nerd that I am, I chose SCIENCE. Instead of going for the "I get you, bro. My hands are sweaty with anxiety, like, all the time", I took medical facts and turned them into eye-popping fascinations. WIN!

 

Tinnitus No More - Health Market

Tinnitus.

If you don't have it, any comments similar to "What's the big deal? It's just noise." will be met with a look that COULD kill. 

Truth is, tinnitus is one of the most debilitating problems... and yet it's barely taken seriously.

Therefore, the thing people with tinnitus yearn most is understanding. Simple as that. 

They want to know you understand their problem:

► what they're going through

► what treatments they tried

► how superficially they've been treated 

So I started with a rundown of so-called "solutions" on the market (which many times end up doing more harm than good).

Then I proceeded with a benefit-oriented product presentation where I mirrored what our competitors lacked with how this infoproduct helped solve the same problems. 

 

Quit Smoking Naturally - Health/Addiction Market

In my research, I noticed most smokers who tried to quit (but relapsed) had this overwhelming sense of guilt and failure. 

"I'm weak."

"It's my fault." 

"I don't have the will."

What they didn't know was that it wasn't their fault at all. Addiction isn't a matter of will. It's an illness (scientifically proven). 

So I used this opportunity to empathize with them and also educate them about their addiction.

Most times, knowing the FACTS and following tested & proven methods is all it takes to give them the confidence boost they need. 

 

Hair Styling Methods - Hair Loss Niche

Watching Seinfeld REALLY helped with this one. 

George Costanza was the one person I thought of while writing this (his obsession with hair made me understand the target market better than any other research I'd done). 

I understood the whole emotional domino bald men go through...

  • the shame of going bald

  • the struggle to hold on to the last strains of thinning hair

  • the effort and time wasted trying to make it look... decent

  • the bitterness that comes with giving up on hope

  • the isolation you subject yourself to as punishment for going bald

I used all of these emotions throughout the copy, together with fighting major objections ("I'm not a hair stylist", "I can't even use hair spray", "I don't have time for that").

Throwing in some aspirational characters like George Clooney was the salt & pepper that added extra flavor to the copy.  

 

Website Copy

 

Lifedrops App - SaaS Market

This app is one of those things that make you go "Why didn't I think of this first?"

Lifedrops allows you to video-interview your favorite peeps in the world, save the videos, and share them with your friends and family.

You have ready-made interview questions you can ask your loved ones or ask your own - totes your choice. 

They already had a first draft of the copy, but it needed a better structure and that emotional touch that makes you go "Awww, I SHOULD interview my nana this weekend! She has so much life experience to share..."

So I created a mini "how to use this app" guide and then I sprinkled the details that tap into a deeply emotional FOMO (aka Fear Of Missing Out). 

 

Cattle and field - Agricultural Market

I loved the challenge this client brought forth. 

"Hey, Valentina, how are your agricultural copy chops?"

"Uhm... not peachy"

"I TOTALLY TRUST YOU CAN DO IT! Let's work together!"

"Yaaassss BRING IT ON!"

I've never been more excited to write about Romanian Spotted Cattle in my life. Unlike most benefit-oriented copy I usually write, this one was heavy on features. 

The target market had different expectations than what I was used to: NO fluff; just hard numbers, facts, and lists. BUT presented in an easy-to-follow, friendly way. 

All in all, the client loved the final result and I got to test my copy skills on unfamiliar ground. Achievement unlocked.

 

Email Copy

Fat Crusher System - Weight Loss Market

 

Defeat Herpes Naturally - Health Market

 

Gut Balance Formula - Weight Loss Market